Hang in long enough

Recently, a friend of mine was under the weather for a contagious illness, involving symptons like mild fever and itchy inflamed blisters. As a result, he was advised by the doctor to be confined at home for next one week until the symptoms were gone.

It leads me to think what one will do, given the imposed regulation. If it was me, I would probably do one of the following:

1) Write a blog of my illness
2) Take up drawing or photography or the like
3) Experiment with cooking
4) Catch up with long-lost friends over phone
5) Start mediation or yoga
6) Soul searching
7) Nothing

And the possibilities are endless...

Suddenly, I think being "grounded" is not so shuddering afterall. Think about it. Most people complain they don't have enough time to pursue their interests. Given that I have 24 hours all to myself now is certainly a luxury.

Which of the above will YOU take up?

Don't speak

Went for my English volunteering session on Monday. Kids were zestful and happy to see me. I was assigned to two girls whom I have been volunteering regularly.

This time, I was required to walk through a newspaper article with the group. The written piece is about an undergraduate scholar juggling with school and her passion, fencing. The kids were required to learn the new words underlined in the article.The lesson started off well.

Before long, the students slipped into a state of fatigue and inattentiveness. Refusing to continue with the task, they started to protest silently. Understanding that they may need a break, I offered a hiatus in their studies.

The situation did not improve after the break. So I invited the disciplinarian to step in. She asked both students to give their feedback on their concerns. “Any problem?” She asked earnestly.

The kids simply muttered one word or two, and maintained their "silence", despite her persistent probing. Sometimes, I wonder if the kids understand that they have more to lose by keep mum.

The same act by the renowned Father of the Nation (Mahatma Gandhi) - the one who founded ahimsa or total non-violence, however, enjoyed a favourable outcome. As all know, Gandhi pioneered the the opposition of tyranny through mass civil disobedience by adopting a total non-violence strategy in efforts to attain social or political change. Consequently, he led India to independence and inspired movements for civil rights and freedom across the world.

People have also come to use non-violent methods of struggle based on their viewpoints and traditions. For instance, people may go on strike on the grounds of social and union political issues. Likewise, a landless peasant in Brazil may non-violently occupy a parcel of land for sheer pragmatic motivations. If they don't, the family will starve. Similarly, a Buddhist monk in Thailand may "ordain" trees in a threatened forest, using the teachings of Buddha to oppose its destruction. All the above illustrate the use of non-violent methods, albeit for different motives.

On a global note, non-violence has even been declared on 21 September of each year as the International Day of Peace.

May Peace be with you!

The Name Of The Game

Have you even muse over the meaning of your name? I mean it is something which I haven't given a thought. Guess I just take it for granted.

Well, it only hit me when a group of friends and I engaged in a discourse of our names over a cup of coffee last weekend. As a Chinese, I must say I am overwhelmed that my Chinese name^, 庄秀女我 (Hanyu Pinyin: Zhuang Xiu'e)＝庄＋秀女我 (my name) offers different variations depending on the following context:

1. Family names
2. Given names
3. Dialect names (Regional names)
4. Alternative names

1. Family names

The Chinese name system originates in Eastern Asia. As a matter of fact, all countries in Eastern Asia have adopted the Chinese name system. Nowadays, there are over 700 variety of Chinese family names. Interestingly, as few as twenty family names cover a majority of Chinese people.

Unlike Westerners where the family name usually comes last, Chinese family names are always written first. One example is renowned China revolutionist 毛澤東 (Mao Ze-dong). The family name of Mao Zedong is 毛 (Mao), and his given name is Ze-dong (traditional given name: 澤東, simplified: 泽东). The great majority of Chinese family names have only one character, but there are also some that comes with two such as 歐陽, 上官, 司馬, 司徒. Only a few of these compund surnames remain in use in modern times.

Today, some married Chinese women choose to keep their maiden names as their family name, rather than adoping the name of their husband. For children, they usually inherit their father's family name.

2. Given names

The variety in Chinese names therefore depends greatly on given names, rather than family names.

Chinese given names have one or two characters, and are written after the family name. When a baby is born, parents frequently name him or her with a "milk name" or "little name" first, such as Little Treasure 小寶/ 小宝 (Xiao-bao) or two characters that repeat 明明 (Ming-ming) after the given name is selected by the parents, customarily with consultation of the grandparents. The parents may continue to use the nickname.

When generation names are used as part of a two-characters given name, it is generally not apt to address someone by the first part of their given name only, as it is merely their generation name. Instead, the entire given name should be used ie 秀女我. This should be the case regardless of whether the surname is used for example, 庄秀女我 or 秀女我.

3. Dialect names (Regional names)

Typically, it consists of one-character family name + twin-characters given name (mainstream)

Some examples are:

李显龙 (Li Xian-long)=李+显龙 (Prime Minister of Singapore)
張國榮 (Zang Guo-rong)＝張＋國榮(singer and actor)
古天乐 (Gu Tian-le)＝古＋天乐 (actor)

One-character family name + one-character given name (few):

蔡琴 (Cai Qin)＝蔡＋琴 (folk singer)
蕭薔 (Qiang Wei)＝蕭＋薔(actress; stage name)

Two-character family name + one-character given name (even lesser):

歐陽龍 (Ou Yang-long) ＝歐陽＋龍 (actor, local politician)

My surname name, Chung or 庄, is also one of the 56 ethnic groups officially recognized by the People's Republic of China.

4. Alternative names

Additionally, many Chinese have various kinds of nicknames. Nicknames are usually an modification of the given name, sometimes based on the person's physical attributes, speaking style or even their first word. A nickname may also consist of the diminutive 阿 (a), followed by part of the given name (usually the last character).

Such nicknames are rarely used in formal or semi-formal settings. One exception to this is Chen Shui-bian, a Taiwanese politician, who is generally known as 阿扁 (A-bian) in the newspaper articles.

Hope the above will be informative to non-Chinese folks out there:)

^http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chinese_names

Stop

In the art of human communication, body language constitutes 60% of the the message conveyed to the recipient, while the remaining 40% are shared by both words and tone. Like most people, I am oblivious of my body language till my friends gave me the defining moment of my life.

According to my friends, effective communication between one and the person/group, he or she has to consciously observe the following areas:

1. Always maintain eye contact with the person (occasionally casting a fleeting glance to the chest level if feeling uncomfortable)
2. Hand gestures not to exceed more than 1 ft by 1 feet boundary
3. If 2. is not necessary, then hands should remain in a stationary position

Of course, to put body language to your advantage, one has to be conscious of the following body language behavior that is open to a number of interpretations at:

http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/body.php

Realistically, anyone can accomplish the above three golden rules through constant practice, albeit it is easier said than done. Well, my friends put me to a test by challenging me to maintain eye contact with one of them as long as I could. I gave up the second when both our eyes were connected. I mean I just couldn't keep a straight face.

For those seriously keen on improving their body language, allow me to share with you further what I learnt from Wikipedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Body_language): By and large, body language is termed as the types of communication either through the use of body movements or gestures only, or along with sounds, verbal language, or other forms of communication. Also, body language encompasses the use of facial expressions.

In a bigger picture, body language falls under paralanguage, which describes all forms of human communication that are not verbal language. This includes the most subtle of movements that many people are not aware of, such as the inconsiderable movement of the eyebrows.

An interesting thing to note is that paralanguage, including body language, has been wide studied in social psychology. In our daily speech and popular psychology, the name is most often applied to body language that is considered involuntary, even though the difference between voluntary and involuntary body language is frequently debatable. For example, a smile may be an conscious or unconscious act.

Can you make out the difference?

People need love

Finally got over my bane on 14th February, Valentine Day* . It is a day where lovers show their love for each other. Some of the common gifts include flowers, cards, or candies. Coincidentally, one of my colleagues received a big bouquet of flowers in the office from her hubby. And the surprise made us green with envy!

Actually it's no big deal.. After all, everyday is Valentine day (V's day) if you treat each other with care and concern. Just that the restaurants and florists are quick to capitalize on this very day to "wring" additional money from consumers by offering exorbitant flowers and lavish Valentine's dinner for the couples. Though I need to point out here that the die-hard romantic couples advocating this occasion are willing buyers themselves.

Now you have the opportunity to spend V's day alone like I had, you would be in a strong position to concur with me that dining with yourself on this day is best discouraged. What happened was I had to attend class on V's day. So I went to the Japanese restaurant nearby for a quick bite before class. Immediately when I walked in, I noticed that all the diners seemed to fall into a predictable pattern. In a pair, specifically! Being the exclusive patron, one couldn't help longing for an accompanying partner to avoid the distressing stares.

Next, after surviving the looks from the couplely diners, one had to pray hard that a table by the corner was available. Much to my relief, my prayer was heard and I was happily seated at the back of the restaurant. To portray an intrepid outlook, engaging in a conversation with the waiter always helped. The sweet whispering of lovers' lingo on this day certainly did not chase the discomfort that I was the sole survivor. Putting on a doughty front, I ordered my items swiftly and gobbled them down as fast as I could. Will spare all with my close brush with death as I almost choked during the process..

My takeaway is that unless you enjoy the solitude attention, please stay away from public eating places on this special day made for couples, at least in the peewee island of Singapore.

I could be wrong, unless you wish to share your thoughts with me?


*Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Valentine_Day

I want to break free

A group of us were invited to my friend's place for dinner over the weekend. The chef-at-work turned out to be my her friend's cousin from Maldives*, who has a knack of whipping up a delectable meal for the guests.

During our casual discourse, we learnt that her cousin worked as a NGO (Nongovernmental Organization) observer in her home country previously. For those who are not familar with Maldives (like I), I was told that Maldives is the smallest Asian country in terms of population (about 300,000 people). One of the smallest Muslim nations in the world, Tourism and Fisheries constitute the two key components of Maldivian economy. For the former, I have always been mesmerized by the perfect powdery white sands and cyrstal clear water, evident from tourism pictures.

Through our conversation, we learnt about the objectives of NGO including:

• encouraging the observance of human rights;
• improving the state of the natural environment;
• improving the welfare of the disadvantaged;
• representing a corporate agenda.

Further, we were told that demonstrations are used to show a perspective (whether positive or negative) regarding a public issue, especially relating to a social unfairness. A demonstration is usually considered more successful if more people joins in.

In her observer's role in Maldives, we were told that that she has to adopt a 3rd party's stand and detach herself from the demonstrators, whom have assembled in the public in the name of political issues mainly. The public display of common view has stemmed from a serious shortage of schools and basic amenities for the citizens. Much to our dismay!

In my opinon, it is certainly not a mean feat as one needs to always remain calm, and not intervene in the demonstrators'a acitivites, regardless if they are his or her family or friends. We also understood that the police frequently assault the protestors to disperse the crowd. By that, it entails unpleasant treament, or even physical battering of the demonstrators.

While studying in Australia, I had the once in a lifetime encounter with demonstrators on the street. It was quite an eye-opener for me, considering Singapore is a safe and politically sound country.

Your thoughts are always welcome!

* For full information, please check out http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maldive

We never change

During my creative writing's class, our lecturer played us a movie starring Jim Carrey "The Truman Show". Directed by Peter Weir and Michael J. McAlister, the film was released in 1998.

As the plot unfolds, we are introduced to the lead actor in the movie, Truman Burbank (played by Jim Carrey), an insurance salesman, who lives in an impeccable world: the people are always nice, the town is always clean, and the sun always shines (almost).

In the show, Truman has a endearing wife in Meryl (Laura Linney) who has the queer characteristic of speaking like a commercial at times, on top of a great friend in Marlon (Noah Emmerich). The creator (or god) of this show is Christof (Ed Harris) who has constructed a large artificial world for Truman, in a giant closure.

However, his world falls apart when he discovers that his life (over 5000 cameras are used to record Truman's life) has been in the footing of a popular, 24-hour-a-day television show (The Truman Show has been the highest rated show on network TV for about thirty years). More shockingly, both his wife and mother are just part of the acting crew. He then endeavors a courageous exit out of the "safe" dome, after thinking through to follow his heart to the real world.

One knows that live television is not a new concept; after all, TV was traditionally a mostly live medium. During my childhood days, unrehearsed TV consisted mainly of news broadcasts and sporting events.

Nevertheless, today, shows like The Amazing Race, Cops, and the recent introduction of make-over shows (The Swan) on TV, have exemplified the insatiable demand the audience has for "the real thing". As such, we can see an influx of live depictions of other people's worlds one could ever imagine. With the reality shows' boost, it evoke more thoughts as to whether our society could ever be this radical. With each viewing, one can help feeling such live shows may have gone overboard (with the exceptions of Diva on a Dime, The Apprentice)..

Acting wise, this wasn't his one of Jim Carrey's best performances, albeit enjoyable. Certainly, one has to give credit to the duo directors for their witty, most ingenious picture of reflecting the satire on the media who tamper with us, as well as the audience who promotes it.

For the latter, why they can't just watch the news is really beyond my comprehension?

I heard a rumour

Over dinner, one of my friends was inducing me to share the office grapevine with him. Which was what inspired me to include this episode as my blog for the day.

Allow me to start by mounting up my knowledge on today's topic, Communication first.

So I did a a little Google search... and the history of communication dates back to the earliest signs of life, according to Wikipedia site*:

- Communication can range from very subtle processes of exchange, to full conversations and mass communication.
- Human communication was revolutionized with speech about 200,000 years ago.
- Symbols were developed about 30,000 years ago, and writing about 7,000.
- On a much shorter scale, there have been major developments in the field telecommunication in the past few centuries.

On a micro level of communication in our societies today, communities frequently engage in information exchange mainly involving people. This is what we term as "gossip". Basically, it consists of casual or idle talk of any sort, sometimes (but not necessarily) libelous and/or devoted to discussing others.

Being one of the ancient and (still) the most common ways of dispersing and sharing facts and opinions, gossip is likely to be erroneous and introduce other differences into the information during dispersion of information. The word itself also suggests that such news disseminated habitually are of personal or trivial by nature.

Some people commonly comprehend gossip as meaning the spreading of rumor and misinformation, as (for example) through excited discussion of scandals. In the political arena, one president was alleged to have an affair, one common tactic deployed by the opposition party to undermine the politics leader's credibility and reputation. Some newspapers also feature "gossip columns" which entail the social and personal lives of celebrities or of élite members of certain communities.

Your tittle-tattle, please.

*Here’s the link to the full information:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_communication

Ring Ring

Nowadays, one simply cannot live without a phone. The evolution of phone has been such that it has progressed to smart phone (all-in-1), where PDA,phone,camera, MP3 player and the like are assembled in 1 neat package.

As all know, there are two types of tone settings for ringing tones. One is the default selection of the ring tone from the options available in the phone, while the other sees music buffs uploading their favourite MP3 songs into their phones.

For the latter, we can all agree that it hurts no one as long as the volume is checked . Nonetheless, when resounding song ring tone reaches your ear, it could be a form of noise pollution. But as long as I can turn a deaf ear, it’s no big deal.

Things only get a little uglier when the volume of the MP3 ring tones are amplified by inconsiderate handphone owners. Typically, one react in a few ways. Let's face it. If the song appeals to me, I could least sing along with the melody. The other scenario will see one look daggers at the culprit, especially if the song is abominable. Luckily for all, the unpleasantness doesn’t last long as soon as the incoming calls are being picked up. Soon, another phone will be buzzing with another song to bother someone else. Again, it’s no big deal.

Things only turn more revolting when you are torn among muliple MP3 ring tones all screaming for your attention in a crowded train or bus.

To some, this unrestrained musical enthusiasm is an affirmation of their life style. In my opinon, these noise offenders are utterly ruining the serenity of our simple lives.

Let me know your thoughts. Thank you in advance.

7 days

It's Monday again! Another brand new week, new challenges.

It has come to my attention that my opinion is universally shared that the first day of the week is always an uphill task. From school kids to working adults, all seem to be less zestful on this very day, as opposed to weekend.

As all know, there are two approaches to face Monday blues. One group will face the day with a positive attitude psyching themselves that it's going to be a beautiful day. While the other is to take it real hard and feel sorry that fun has come to an end. And I think we can all agree on latter to some extent. However, the choice is yours. My point is if you can embrace it with a big smile, all days will be the same!

Besides, one can always cheer himself up on a Monday's evening by indulging in his or her pastime. Better still, I take the opportunity to volunteer English for under-privileged kids. Personally, I feel it is also a meaningful way to end the first day of the new week, being blessed with a normal life.

The surprising thing is that once you get past the first day, you would be whizzing past mid-week crisis without much agony. As such, there is hardly any reason for anyone to feel the Monday's blues.

So which group are you in?

One of us

Many a times, we are caught in situations where the calling to make our speech are not forthcoming. For some reasons, Asians in particular when require to come forward to make their points just shy away!

In my opinon, such people probably do that in the hope of "one of us" would speak on their behalf. Just take my office, for example. One of my colleagues simply come to me for my listening ear, whenever things are not done correctly. Often, I would advise her to speak up to the person concerned so that her viewpoint could be heard and understood. Sadly, she has yet to do so...

Could it be a lack of confidence? Or just the deep-rooted notion that the other party of Cascusian origin always gets away, regardless of the mistakes he or she has made? I think it is likely to be a hybrid of both. In some, it could even be a host of reasons. Especially in Asian context, one has always being taught to do the work and speak less.

Rather than one sits there thinking the other person will jump in to clear the air, I personally feel it is more positive for the person concerned to discuss the issue with the other party openly.

What do you think?

Cherish

Often, I hear people stressing the importance of time management. Sadly, not many of us including myself have truly grasped the significance of maximizing every minute of our time.

Determined not to waste another year of my life, I decided to check out Wikpedia to upgrade my knowlege, when I stumbled upon the following*: “Many of us claim our days are never wasted. "I'm very organised" we say "I know where I am going and what I'm going to do". If you truly feel that way then you are in the minority. Most people become frustrated with a day that is unproductive . We would all like to get more done in a day”

The idea of time management has been in existence for more than 100 years. Unfortunately the term "Time management" creates a false impression of what a person is able to do. Truth is time cannot be managed and is uncontrollable! As such, we can only manage ourselves and use our time wisely.

Time management is actually self-management. It is interesting that the skills we need to manage others are the same skills we need to manage ourselves: the ability to plan, delegate, organize, direct and control.

I hope this information helps.

Never say Goodbye

It's the last day at work for a colleague of mine in pursuit of her Mandarin studies. On one hand, I feel happy for her to be able to realize her dream. It is a sad moment, on the other hand, as her departure from the team undermines the zest that she has brought to at work.

Well, that is life, I guess. People come and go.

On this day, all had came together at a Spanish restaurant for a farwell lunch with her. Interestingly, one of my colleagues commented that people meet up primarily for 2 reasons: Birth and Death. On this note, I see her departure as somewhat like "Death". And new chapter in her life after our company signifies "Birth"in this respect.

For me, as I grow older over the years, the invitations for gatherings have also correspondingly increase. The last gathering's invite I recalled was when my friend becomes the proud mum of twin babies. For the former, they are always joyous occasions, unlike the solemn mood that lingers at funerals*.

Do you agree?

*PS: Naturally, death relating to the folks of my friends, as I am not so elderly to attend my friends' obsequies. Touchwood!